Who's That Under The Mistletoe?
by peanutbuttergirl1997
Summary: Spongebob's second Christmas! He's gonna host a party. But Spongebob didn't know what mistletoe really was, so he hung it EVERYWHERE. Who's gonna show him what it really is? SPANDY! And many other couples. Patrick x my OC, Nancy Chapter fic.
1. Chapter 1

_Christmas is coming! In exactly 10 DAYS!!!! (Christmas Eve in 9!) _

_Have you ever seen the episode, _**Christmas Who? **_Well, this is after that! It's the next Christmas…. And there will be SPANDY! :D _

_This will be a chapter fic. _

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spongebob, if I did, Sandy and Spongy would be married in Truth or Square! I also don't own the few quotes in here from A Christmas Carol.**

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**Who's That Under The Mistletoe? **

**Chapter One **

"Deck the halls with bounds of coral, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Tis the season to have morals! Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!" Spongebob sang merrily, as he flipped Krabby Patties. It was only a few weeks before Christmas, and Spongebob was brimming with joy. He loved Christmas, and this would be his second!

"Spongebob! Where's my order?" Squidward demanded through the window. Spongebob beamed at him, and shoved the tray into his arms. It was decorated with Christmas coral and golden bells. On them, instead of Krabby patties, Spongebob had made Pretty Patties. One was red, the other green.

"Spongebob! Will you PLEASE stop doing this? Our customers don't want to eat…. Red and green patties! They already are disgusting enough without the color!" Spongebob gasped.

"Squidward! Of course they do! It's almost Christmas!" Squidward shuddered as he remembered last Christmas, all of the stuff he had to give away.

"Bah, humbug." Spongebob grinned widely, not realizing what Squidward said.

"I hope I see him again! You know, I think you would like him, Squiddy."

"Ummm… no."

"Yeah! I don't know why, but he just seems…. Your type." Spongebob exclaimed. Then he grabbed the tray from Squidward, and ran out of the kitchen. He was wearing a red Santa coat and elf shoes. His eyelashes had mini decorations on them.

"Merry Christmas, to the valued costumer!" Spongebob grinned. A female fish tapped her husband on the arm, and whispered something to him. Her husband nodded in conformation.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you Spongebob Squarepants?" The lady asked curiously. Spongebob's eyes shone.

"Why, yes. Yes I am!" Spongebob told her. The fish gasped.

"Then… YOU'RE the one who started this whole…. Christmas thing! I remember last Christmas was the first one I ever celebrated. I can't believe I'm meeting you in person!" Spongebob smiled.

"I don't like to disagree with customers, but I'm not the one who started the 'whole Christmas thing.' Sandy did!" Spongebob said truthfully.

"Aw, the boy's being modest." The man said.

"Is Sandy you're wife?" The fish asked. Spongebob reddened.

"No! Of course not! We're just friends." Spongebob said rather loudly. A few people turned to stare.

"Well, Happy Holidays." Spongebob horridly returned to the kitchen. He picked up his spatula to make more Krabby Patties. But just then, his shell phone rang.

"You've reached Spongebob." He said into the phone. A familiar voice answered.

"I have? Really? Are you SURE?" The sarcastic voice said. Spongebob jumped up in happiness.

"Bethy!" Spongebob cried, "Is that you?"

"Who else, Spongy?" Bethy said, "Am I still coming over for Christ- miss?"

"Christ MAS."

"Yeah."

"Of course!" Spongebob squealed, "How are you? How's Stanly?" Spongebob asked, worried about his klutzy cousin.

"Oh, you know him, Sponge. Same as ever. Mom and dad are about to force him to come back to stay with you." Spongebob shuddered.

"Well…"

"Don't worry, I talked them out of it." Spongebob sighed in relief.

"I think Uncle Captain Blue is coming on Christmas day. And Gramma… My parents, your parents, you, obviously, Stanley… and maybe Blackjack and Girly Teen Girl."

"Girly Teen Girl?" Bethy said, "Really?" Bethy and Girly Teen Girl didn't really…. Get along that well. Girly Teen Girl was, well, overly girly. She was a basic stereotype teenage girl.

"Yeah." Spongebob said, "But it'll be great." Spongebob really wanted to have everyone get along this Christmas.

"See ya later, Sponge. Wait… Patrick still lives next to you, right?"

"Well… two houses. Squidward lives next to me." Spongebob said cheerily.

"Oh, Squidward! Right! Ah… cool." Bethy said innocently, "Bye Sponge." She hung up. Spongebob sighed, and then checked his watch. For once, he was anxious to get out of work. He needed to go Christmas shopping.

"SPONGEBOB!" Squidward exclaimed, "Sandy's here for you." Spongebob grinned. He ran out to greet her.

"Happy Holidays, Sandy!" Spongebob said. Sandy smiled, and Spongebob noticed that she had some other squirrels with her.

"IS this your family, Sandy?" Spongebob asked. Sandy smiled, and nodded.

"This is my sister in law, Sally, and my brother, Woody." A pretty squirrel, who must have been Sally, stepped forward.

"Hey, y'all must be Spongebob?" She said. Spongebob grinned.

"Hi." He answered, "Yeah, I'm Spongebob, and welcome to Bikini Bottom, Woody, and Sally!" He said happily, "Any sibling or in law of Sandy's is a sibling or in law of mine!" Sally giggled, and glanced at Sandy. Suddenly, the door of Mr. Krab's office burst open.

"Spongebob! What are ya doing, bonding with the customers? Get back to work, me boy!" Spongebob raised his spatula in salute.

"Sorry, Mr. Krabs." He said, "I'm on it!" He shot into the room, and began to make more Pretty Patties.

**~ Meanwhile ~ **

"Gee, whiz, Sandy, that Spongebob sure is a kind little feller." Sally said to her husband's sister. "But a little weak lookin." Sandy giggled.

"Yeah, Squarepants isn't the strongest of the bunch, but he's my best friend down under the sea." Woody shot a glance at Sally, who rolled her eyes. Sandy pretended not to notice.

They sat down at a table, and none other than Patrick Star marched in to the Krusty Krab.

"Hi Sandy… and Sandy… and Sandy…" He trailed off, noticing the other squirrels she was sitting with. He did a quick count.

"Ffff… FOUR!" He exclaimed. Sandy looked confused.

"What?" She asked, surprised at Patrick's random outburst. Although, she should have been used to it by now.

"Oh, sorry, three," he said calmly. Than he yelled, "THREE SANDYS! AHHHH! THE WORLD IS ENDING! THE SKY IS FALLING! And I STILL HAVEN'T SHOWN YOU… THE _picture_." Patrick was going through serious mood swings, but Sandy brushed that aside.

"What picture?" She asked. Patrick glared at her.

"NO! Not 'what picture' THE _picture_." Sandy glanced at her brother and sister in law, who looked more confused than a snake in a pickle barrel.

"Okay, okay. What's THE _picture_?" Sandy asked again, exasperated. Patrick stared at her with an open mouth, drooling.

"What picture?" Patrick said dully. Sandy smacked her forehead, or rather she tried to. Of course, instead she met glass.

"Ouch," she muttered. Patrick grinned his one toothed smile.

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Sandy!" And with that, he skipped away into the kitchen. Sandy turned to Sally and Woody, who both opened their mouths.

"Just… don't ask." Sandy said warily, and they didn't.

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_Okay, okay, this is horrible. Don't worry, it's just the first chapter! This will lead up to a Christmas party at Spongebob's, and events there have something to do with the title…;) _

_PLEASE REVIEW? For the sake of Spandy? PLEASE!!!!! :D _

_Oh, if your Jewish, happy Chanukah! :) _

_-KC_


	2. Chapter 2

_It. Is. F-f-f-f-f-f- FREEZING! And so I thought it was a perfect time to get a cup of chocolate, put on my foot warmers, and work on fanfiction instead of doing homework. Eh, I'll do it later… _

**Disclaimer: I don't own Spongy, but I do own Woody, Sally, Wendell, and Nancy. **

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**Who's That Under The Mistletoe? **

**Chapter Two **

"Excuse me, kind sir, but can you direct me to the Christmas plants and décor?" Spongebob asked, tapping a male fish on the shoulder. He looked around, and than down, and so Spongebob. The fish was wearing a tag that said _HELLO! MY NAME IS "WENDEL." _Spongebob gave his signature buck toothed smile.

"What do ya want, kid?" The fish asked in a gruff voice. He looked down at Spongebob.

"Actually, I'm a man." Spongebob pointed out. The fish rolled his eyes.

"Alright, what do ya want, _man_?" He corrected. Spongebob beamed.

"My name is Spongebob Squarepants."

"That's great, and I'm Santie Claus." Spongebob raised an eyebrow.

"No… I've met Santa. He looks more like Squidward than he does you. Besides, your name is 'Hello, my name is Wendell.'" Spongebob said patiently. 'Hello, my name is Wendell' groaned.

"Anyways, I was wondering if—"

"Yeah, yeah. I heard ya the first time, kid. Let's just get this over with." Spongebob skipped after 'Hello, my name is Wendell,' cheerfully whistling Christmas carols.

"Dashing through the snow on a seahorse open sleigh—"

"Here we are." 'Hello, my name is Wendell' said tiredly, "And will you PLEASE. Stop. Singing." Spongebob immediately stopped, but looked up at 'Hello, my name is Wendell' with his big, blue eyes.

"But… its Christmas," Spongebob said, his eyes getting big. "And…. You have to be good around Christmas. Because… He see's you when you're sleeping! He knows when you're awake! HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD, SO BE—"

"QUIET! For goodness sakes." 'Hello, my name is Wendell' finished Spongebob's song. He snorted a little at his "joke," and pointed down the aisle.

"There you go, _sir_." He said, and ran off as fast as he could, muttering something about 'they don't pay me enough.' Spongebob waved cheerfully goodbye, and looked down the isle. His eyes grew even bigger, if possible.

"Wooooooowwwwww," he dragged out. "This is SO amazing. Christmas decorations as far as the eye can see!" He jumped up and down several times, before grabbing a shopping cart and running up and down the isle, and singing.

"It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday… Ooooo- holly! Not your normal every daily day- I need that Christmas tree! We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry- huh?" Spongebob noticed a bunch of festive plants. He glanced at the tag.

_If you want a VERY Merry Christmas, with a SPECIAL SOMEONE, don't delay! By mistletoe TODAY! The more, the merrier, they say! ;) _

"I want a merry Christmas! I have special people coming over! I want mistletoe, the more, the merrier!" Spongebob exclaimed loudly. He grabbed the whole box, which was overflowing with mistletoe. He shot through the isle, up to pay.

"Alright, Mr… Squarepants?" the cashier asked. Spongebob nodded, grinning. She smiled back, and checked out his stuff.

"Alright, ten boughs of holly coral, one Christmas tree, and… FOUR HUNDRED PLANTS OF _MISTLETOE_!?" She exclaimed. Spongebob smiled.

"Yup! I want to have a very _special _Christmas!" he told her. Unfortunately, it was the wrong thing to say.

"With WHO? You JERK!" She said. Spongebob's lip quivered.

"Wha… huh?" He asked, a lump forming in his throat. People were starting to stare. The cashier was twitching.

"Well… how many girlfriends do you have, exactly?" Spongebob raised an eyebrow.

"Huh? I don't—"

"Just… don't. Get out of my sight, you— 2 timer. No… 400 timer!" Spongebob burst into tears, and tore out of the store. Everyone turned to glare at the cashier.

**~ Later ~ **

Spongebob had only cried for twenty minutes, and than proceeded his decorating. His party was tonight!

"Meow." Gary slithered into the kitchen, where Spongebob was stringing mistletoe onto every surface of the ceiling. Gary's pupils got big.

"Hey, Gare bear," Spongebob said to him, "Can you come with me under this mistletoe to help me put up some—"

"MEOW!" Gary yelped, and received the new world record for snail fastness, as he flew out the room.

"Huh, guess he's not up to decorating right now." Spongebob shrugged, and stepped back to admire his handiwork. Every surface of ceiling on the first floor was covered in mistletoe.

"This is gonna be the best Christmas EVER!"

* * *

_I guess Gary knows what mistletoe is… ;) _

_How'd you like it? Next chapter will be the LAST, and I will publish it Christmas Eve. So… stay tuned! _

_PLEASE REVIEW! DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF SANDY AND SPONGEBOB! _

_-KC _


	3. Chapter 3

"_I WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, I WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, I WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!" _

"_OHHHHH… SANTA'S COMING, TONIGHT, TONIGHT! SANTA'S COMING TONIGHT! SANTA'S COMING TONIGHT, TONIGHT. SANTA'S COMING TONIGHT!" _

_(My little brother found out there was no Santa, I'm putting this up in his honor) _

_So, Merry Christmas! Here it is….. _

_The _**FINAL **_chapter of "Who's That Under The Mistletoe?" _

_THIS WILL HAVE TONS OF SPANDY, AND NANCY x PATRICK, AND SQUIDDY x someone you have heard of… and a lot more! (Remember, 400 pieces of mistletoe, 400 kisses!) _

**Disclaimer: Spongy belongs to Nickolodeon, and "**THE _picture_**" belongs to Patrick ;) **

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**Who's That Under The Mistletoe? **

**~ Chapter Three ~ **

Spongebob tightened the red bow tie he always wore on special occasions. Gary slitered in, with a sickened expression on his face. Spongebob was brushing his eyes so they glistened and sparkled. Then he noticed Gary in the bathroom.

"Hi, Gary! Has anyone arrived yet?" Gary twitched.

"Meow." He answered.

"What do you mean 'how would I know?'" Spongebob asked, "I told you to watch the door while I got ready."

"Meow."

"You don't want to go downstairs….?" Spongebob raised an eyebrow. Gary rolled his eyes, and slithered from the room. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"I GOT IT!" Spongebob squeeled, and ran downstairs. He threw open the door, to reveal Bethy and Stanly.

"BETHY! STANLY!" Spongebob squeezed them tight.

"Hey Sponge… I hope you hid your TV." Bethy whispered to Spongebbob, mostioning to her klutzy brother. Spongebob gave a small smile.

"Well, come on in." He ushered them in. Stanly exicitedly ran in, but Bethy snatched the coller of his shirt to stop him. She flipped back her raven black, and turned to Spongebob.

"So… is Squidward gonna be here?" She asked curiously. Spongebob bobbed his head up and down. Bethy smiled, and then Stanly tugged on her sleeve.

"LOOK! The ceiling's sooo pretty!" He said, and pointed up. Bethy followed his gaze.

"Yeah, Stan. It's great…. WOW. That's not what I think it is, is? That's not what it is… not that much!" Her blue eyes expanded to the size of beach balls. Spongebob grinned proudly. Bethy looked up again, and rubbed her eyes. Then she must have realized that it was true, and her brother was standing next to her…

"AHHHHH!" She shot out of the living room, into the kitchen. Spongebob and Stanly stared after him.

"AHHH!~ There's more in here too! It's EVERYWHERE!" They heard Bethy's far off screech.

_DING, DONG! _

"Oooo, someone's here!" Spongebob said, and he threw open the door. A bunch of people filed in.

"Hi Patrick! Hi Squidward! Hi Mr. Krabs! Hi Plankton! Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Girly Teen Girl! Hi Pearl! Hi Pearl's friends! Hi Uncle Captain Blue! Hi Uncle Sherm! Hi Auntie Debbie! Hi Gramma! Hi the rest! Hi Nancy! Hi Woody and Sally! Oh, hi Sandy!" Sandy was the last to come in, and she gave Spongebob a little hug.

"I'm glad you fellers got in the Christmas spirt!" She said. Spongebob winked at her, and went back to say hi to everyone. But something was wrong. People were pointing at the ceiling, some were looking confused, some happy, some embarrsed, and some angry.

Then, randomly, people started making out! Spongebob's mom grabbed her husband, and kissed him deeply. Others started doing it, too. Girly Teen Girl grabbed Squidward's tenticle, but Bethy kicked her leg, making her fall over. Before Squidward knew what was happening, Bethy was eating his mouth.

A fish named Nancy scanned the crowd, and saw the starfish she was looking for. She rushed over, and smashed her face against Patrick's.

"UMMPH!" Patrick mumbled, as Nancy squeezed him tight. The few people who weren't kissing turned to glare at Spongebob.

"What's you problem?"

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"JERK!" The cashier from Barg 'n' Mart was there, and threw a tomato at him. The rest who weren't kissing also pulled tomatos out of nowhere, and smashed at him.

"I'M OUT!" They said. They ran out of his pineapple, shouting angrily. There was a long silence, as the couples were still making out, and Spongebob was standing and staring, dumbfounded and confused. Sandy was staring at the ceiling, shock in her eyes, and a blush creeping into her face.

lllllll

Bethy finally let go of Squidward, who stared at her. Bethy smiled widely, and pulled him closer to her.

"Your Squidward." She stated. Squidward just nodded.

"I'm Bethy, remember me?" Squidward squinted at her, and then he remembered something.

"Yeah… I remember you… you're very…. Cultural." He said randomly. Bethy raised an eyebrow, but giggled.

"Dah, yai, yai, yai!" She let out. Squidward's eyes widened.

"Wait… I know that laugh… SPONGEBOB!?" He screamed in horror. Bethy laughed again.

"Dah, yai, yai, yai! No, I'm Bethy…. Spongebob's cousin… Duh! That's how you met me." She explained. Squidward's face twitched.

"But… you're kind of… normal. Your sarcastic, pretty, and not annoying… except for that laugh… how can you be related to Spongebob?"

"I just… am?" Bathy gave uncertainly. Squidward stared into space for a second, now his whole body twitching.

"It would figure… the perfect girl for me… related to Spongebob… humana, humana, humana!" He passed out cold in her hands. Bethy stared for a second, and Girly Teen Girl walked up to them. She saw Bathy standing there, holding a half dead Squidward.

"He wants me." Bethy told her. Girl Teen Girl flipped her amber hair, and applied a fresh coat of lip- gloss.

"Whatever. He wants me more." She said, and skipped away. Bethy gritted her teeth, but had to laugh when Girly Teen Girl tripped over her heels, and fell in the punch bowl.

"Revenge is sweet… literally!" Bethy said, and tried to wake up Squidward.

llllllll

"Hi Pat." Nancy cooed, and she pecked him again. "How are you?" Patrick's brain was never very full, but now it was especially empty.

"Uhhh… meatloaf?" He stuttered confusingly. She giggled, and took his hand.

"Oh, Patrick, you were always sooo funny." She said again, and stared him right in the eyes. Unfurtunatally for her, Patrick's eyes were crossed at the moment.

"Um, do I know you?" He forced out, "Because I have uh, uh, Ummmmmmmmm…….."

"Short term memory Loss?" Nancy asked, batting her eyelashes. Patrick looked at her.

"Yeah…." He said. "Something like that…" Nancy looked up, and kissed Patrick again.

"Do you know what's above us?" She asked.

"Yeah- sky!" He said proudly, "Sky!" Nancy laughed.

"No… MISTLETOE." She said. Patricks eyes widened.

"You're missing a toe?" He asked, surprised. Nancy smiled, and patted his back.

"No… MISTLETOE." Suddenly, something rushed through Patricks head. Mistletoe, Mistletoe, MISTLETOE! He grabbed a box from his pocket, and opened it. Inside was a secret string, which he pulled to open a secret compartment. To reveal… THE _picture_.

"ATTENTION EVERYONE!" Patrick said loudly, "I HAVE AN ANNOUNCMENT TO MAKE." But everyone just kept kissing, and a few people were crying (Including Girly Teen Girl!) Patrick glared around.

"FINE! I'll just show it to Sandy and Spongebob." He marched away from Nancy, who was leaning on him. She fell straight over.

"Hi Sandy." Patrick said. She was talking to Spongebob, who was sobbing uncontrollably. Patrick went forward, and shoved the photo into Sandy's hands.

"Bye, Spongebob, I must leave now. Some party, though. See ya, buddy!" He turned to leave.

"And Sandy… your two clones are kissing in the place where you make food. Just to let you know." Sandy stared at him, and then Patrick left. Sandy turned to look at the picture.

"NOOOOOOOOO! PATRICK! COME BACK!" Nancy screamed, and ran through the wall of the pineapple. Spongebob fell to the floor, crying. Sandy sighed, because this was not the Christmas she imagined. Then, she finally glanced at THE _picture_.

And her jaw dropped.

It was from the first Christmas, the picture that Squidward had taken. Spongebob's eyes were round and teary, and he was standing in frount of the Christmas Tree. A tear was sliding down his cheek, and… his fly was down. WAY down. Sandy didn't know flies could be as down as his was. It would have been really funny and embarrseing, except he looked so sad. But she couldn't help let out a snicker.

"Yeah, go laugh." She heard a voice, and it was Spongebo, crying his eyes out on the ground. What was wrong with all of those plants he had hung up?

**One Hour Later **

Everyone had left. Most people had said it had been the BEST Christmas Party ever, and most romantic. Others had been disgusted, or angry. Finally, only Spongebob and Sandy were left, and of course, Gary.

"Sandy, what's wrong with those plants?" He gestured above them, and Sandy suddenly realized that Spongebob didn't know. The poor thing.

"You kiss under the mistletoe." She explained. Spongebob still looked confused.

"Let me show you." Sandy sighed, and pointed to the ceiling.

"We're under MItletoe, right?" Spongebob nodded. Sandy took a deep breath.

"So… know, we… kiss." She said. Spongebob just stood there, so Sandy leaned forward, and quickly pecked him on the lips. Spongebob's face grew redder then Santa's hat, and so did Sandy. But she kept on talking.

"Of course, most people kiss like this under the mistletoe." She kissed him again, but this time it was longer. Spongebob's eyes rolled upwards, and Sandy finally let go.

"That's what mistletoe is, and does." She finished, breathlessly. Spongebob stared at her.

"…Thanks… for teaching me." He said, and turned into a puddle, seeping onto the floor. Sandy giggled, and blushed.

"Merry Christmas, Spongebob."

* * *

_The End! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! _

_-KC_


End file.
